SELF-PROMOTION.

There's something about self-promotion that's kind of like dining at an all-you-can-eat buffet. There are three crucial rules for engaging in either activity:

1.) Try a little bit of everything - If you keep filling your plate with the same item over and over and over and over again (You've got to make AT LEAST 4 trips), you'll miss out on a lot of tasty opportunities.

2.) Don't let judgment curb your appetite - If you get indigestion from the self-controlled individuals staring you down as you take your third trip to the dessert bar, you don't have the stomach for the spotlight.

3.) Tip the help - If you don't grease the palms of the people who support your gratuitous narcissism, you'll be left with a hot mess and spit in your soda.

Help yourself to my hype buffet:

OKmarkOK's

Attention-Whoring Smörgåsbord

Entrées

These items contain the heftiest portions of Mark. Kudos to those who can consume all three without vomiting profusely. 

• Blogna (If you need the link, you need help) - This spicy cut of Mark O.K. contains his 100% unpasteurized anecdotes and diatribes. Diners will either delight in the playfully-poignant concoctions or purge it from their TweetDeck. Regardless, he's keeping it on the cutting board for at least a year.
• Yelperole (http://okmarkok.yelp.com/) - This goulash of reviews is quickly becoming Mark O.K.'s favorite dish thanks to the encouraging community (Yelpers make the BEST customers), alluring rewards (e.g. ROTD & Elite status) and the freedom to experiment with a variety of recipes.
• Portfolioli (http://markkilliancw.com/) - After two years of refinement at the Creative Circus, this polished dish is ready for consumption. But don't get too accustomed to the current taste. A new take on this plate is currently being thrown around the test kitchen.

Sides
These fixin's are the perfect complement to any of Mark O.K.'s self-indulgent entrées.

• Tweet Medley (http://twitter.com/#!/OKmarkOK) - This quick mixture of impromptu insights and shameless plugs (Yelp, Blog, Pinterest, etc.) has created a seesaw of followers and droppers. (At least the porn stars are loyal.)   
• Facebouche (http://www.facebook.com/OKmarkOK) - This mouthful of Mark has a little bit of everything. (That's what (I wish) she said.) It pairs well with the Tweet Medley, while offering a unique archive of photos for seasoned stalkers.
• LinkedInguine (http://www.linkedin.com/in/okmarkok) - This buttoned-up bite is just a mild version of the Facebouche for diners who don't care for the zest of my personal interests or privacy-protected pictures. 

Dessert
A display case of Mark O.K.'s inspirations.

• Pinterest Pie (http://pinterest.com/okmarkok/) - Remember to save room for some sweet & savory food, home and kitten pics, captioned by the Mark O.K. himself.

What's the cost of all this shameless self-promotion? Aside from the loss of a few friends, a lot of sleep and whatever remained of my dignity, this egocentric binge has been the most life-altering decision I've made since I decided I to put down the Pringles and pick up a pair of dumbbells. At the end of the day this may all blow up in my face, but at least there will be a lot more people there to see it. 

After Dinner Mint 

A new Mark mark to refresh your palate.

Thank you for indulging in OKmarkOK's Attention-Whoring Buffet. We would love to hear about your experience. Please post any questions, criticisms or concerns in the comment section below (or on the new "There's Something About ________" fan page! (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Theres-something-about-____________/198638366868635?sk=wall) "Like" it and I'll love you forever.)